Saturday, February 25, 2012

Foreign Land

Sickness is another country. Strange internal landscapes of dark and gray, and then the even stranger intermittent sunlight filtering in from somewhere else, flickering threads of bright white. Everything outside this room is foreign land.


The pain: so intense at times I feel like I'm dying. I want to die. Every movement causes a different angle of hurt; radiating, pulsing, throbbing, or erupting like fireworks; but constant, in some form. I try to surrender to the sensation. This is just more feeling, different, and the proof of life. Out pain, out. I let it move up to the crown of my head, away.


Panic and delerium come and go, as do tears for my mother, my lost self, my other lives, my children, all of them, the burden of this episode on Lee. His patience which I so often underappreciate.


My legs and torso ache from lying in bed for a week and a half...two weeks?, but sitting up is an exertion I can hardly bear. Walking to the bathroom is an excruciating expedition. My balance is off, and I bang into doorways. Once vertical, my head THROBS, and I watch myself, or my body, as I, my self's self, float above, full of pity for this gaunt, hideous, filthy corporeal woman. In the mirror, she looks back hollow-eyed.


But wait. Comparatively, there is a certain luxury in being ill and alive in a warm little house on our own garden plot of land, with my doting husband and children and happy animals. I will not die--not now, from this. Others are much worse off. Much. Am I allowed this misery and sadness? Sort of, Yo. Yes and no. I am so lucky to be loved. By my family, and by the many friends who have sent me caring thoughts.


Time is bent and crooked and seeping. Nothing makes sense. I am being left behind, the train rolls by. When awake and coping, I send emails to the lists of friends, clients, employers, acquaintances. Pathetic notes explaining my absence. Is it spring? The sun is out. Now snow. Now wind against the rickety window panes. I want to go.


The doctor gave me potions, lotions and advice. My child inside is safe and sound, and even if I were inclined to accept antibiotics and the like, the doctor agrees we should avoid all that for the sake of baby, although she did give me several painful injections to halt the progression of this thing. Wait and see. The infection has migrated to the bones in my face, and Lee watches for signs of ocular damage. I am ready to go to the hospital if this is required. But I think I'm getting better. Much much better. I tell my body to accept the power of suggestion: strong, beautiful bones. Healthy teeth and blood. Blue eyes, rest and sleep.


We are all so strong and so vulnerable, and so amazing and small. I feel my baby move, just slightly. Try to eat something. Try to breathe.


Then noises downstairs, and Horus and Treva run up to see me--ignoring Lee's instructions to leave me slumbering.


I can only open my left eye right now, but I can see the kids around the corner, tripping over each other. They jump up on the bed, and snuggle into the crook of my arms. "Here we are, Mum! We came to see you! Do you need us to make you feel better?" Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes.


Extreme situations bring that which is important into impeccable focus. My children. My family. Friends. You. Thank you.


xo

Monday, February 20, 2012

Crisis & Crash



I'm sick. Really, truly, sick. The situation really is my own stupid fault, for not being willing to stop and slow down. For the past couple of weeks I have been staving off this [now obviously inevitable] crash, but here we are. Will she ever learn? What began with a cold and flu-ish symptoms has now blossomed into a serious infection starring my tooth, cheekbone and eye, along with fever, chills, shakes, and, frankly, delerium. I can't really speak, on account of the swelling in my face. My state of malaise is fairly all-encompassing. And I am feeling drastically sorry for myself.

Lee has been absolutely wonderful, running up and down the stairs, bringing me teas and accommodating my requests for chopped garlic and fresh cabbage for poultices. The only conflict has to do with his repeated requests for me to take tylenol, which I have refused. That's right, I don't "believe" in pain-killers, and I find anti-inflammatories highly suspect. Why would my body hurt if it weren't supposed to hurt? This is a message, and I need to listen. Fever, pain, all of it: these are effective healing mechanisms. I don't really see it as "nailing myself to a cross" (as Lee so poetically put it) thank you very much, but rather as allowing my body to heal following her own rhythm.

However, I will be going to see a doctor. Wednesday is the earliest appointment. I am in quite a drastic amount of pain. But of course, I'm terrified as to what this might mean for my babe in utero. Surgery (on my face) may be in order, in which case, well, we shall see. I did go through a similar episode while pregnant with Horus, and he is...perfect. But I really do prefer to avoid all of this, especially while with child.

Waves and waves of guilt and horror over all of it. Where are my children? (downstairs, safe and happy with dad). What will my piano students do? How can I let everyone down like this? I missed Horus' reading lesson for the first time, yesterday, and was so distraught and disgusted with myself that I ended up crying and wailing on Lee's shoulder while he, bemused, comforted me until I fell into a short-lived fitful sleep. Can't you sit up in bed and get it together for just 15 minutes, Yo? What is going to happen? I feel like everything is falling apart.

I truly believe that sickness is the result of stress and emotional trauma, and I can draw direct links between what I'm going through now, and the stress and emotional wear and tear of the past few months. Something has to change, drastically, or I'm not going to be able to continue, to keep up, to succeed, to thrive.

So I will stay in bed until this is over, and repeat my mantra of healing and love, and maybe someone outside of all this will be able to help, and I have Lee and all of you, wonderful friends, and my children who need me to be well. Tired and sad, but I'll be ok.

My sister posted the photograph, above, of twenty-five timberwolves, led by the Alpha Female, as they track single-file through the snow in -40 degree celcius weather, in order to preserve energy.

Being ill can be very frightening. It is difficult to be reminded of fallibility. Especially for the Alpha Female of our little pack. I am accepting positive vibrations, happy thoughts and even prayers.

xo
yo


Friday, February 17, 2012

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Cowardly Little Me


I received a really lovely message from a friend the other day, asking for my advice in relation to a verbal attack she had received from another woman. What do you do when you're blindsided by someone who knows it all, and is convinced you know nothing? 

Sunday, February 12, 2012

New Website!

How do I hate the program with which I post to this ugly out-dated blog? So much! Sorry about the crap formatting. I'm switching blogging platforms very very soon. Excited!
yo

Trauma, Love, Pain, Fat, and Letting Go


We attended a surprise birthday party in Carleton County last night, and then made the 3 hour drive through the snow while the kids slept, worn out from playing with hoards of adoring and adorable extended family. To be honest, I dread family events--those involving my own biological family and everyone else's. Don't worry--no one is exempt. It's not you, it's me! The precursor to such events usually involves me acting up somehow--small tantrums, usually directed at my nearly-angelic (ha) long-suffering husband. My ability to be an adult is *so* much improved now, compared with my late teens and early twenties, but nonetheless, it is a grotesque aspect of my personality...oh wait! No no. This is not an aspect of my personality. This is learned behaviour, or habit. Or something. Yes, I know. I've said it all before. 

Monday, February 6, 2012

And, Again

And For a little more on the subject, here is an excellent short documentary on circumcision.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MEkAg3a0EVE&feature=youtube_gdata_player